The Sex Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex carries enormous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels besides physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to extremely difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , causing powerful sensations of attraction, enjoyment, wellness, love, and nearness .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They probably would not admit it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, check my site says that a lot of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cities, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, motivates sex. If a prospective partner is going to be sexually compatible, numerous gay guys want to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North adds, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a official site provided that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. anchor If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, objectives, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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