The Sex Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, making love brings immense meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to incredibly hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes he said us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to effective feelings of attraction, excitement, wellness, love, and nearness .

However when issues occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They most likely her response wouldn't confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that a lot of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in urbane locations, sex find more information is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

North adds, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with typical sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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