The Sensuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, having sex brings immense meaning and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the chance to make love with someone we are brought in to incredibly hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , resulting in powerful feelings of attraction, enjoyment, closeness, love, and wellness .

However when issues emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They probably would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that many of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in cosmopolitan locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue here are the findings a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with good sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, worths, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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